After my spiritual awakening, my entire world transformed. I became acutely attuned to the emotions of those around me, sensing their despair, happiness, and joy as they passed by. My senses heightened, making certain foods intolerable and large groups overwhelming. Violent movies and news channels became unbearable, and I felt like my life had been turned upside down.

The most challenging aspect was the amplification of the voice within me. While I had always been aware of my inner voice and spirit, it now spoke incessantly, offering revelations and messages whenever someone sought advice or shared their story. Sometimes, I would lose track of conversations because the voice was so distracting. I felt isolated, as if I was experiencing something others weren’t.

Explaining this to my wife was daunting. How do you tell your partner that you’re hearing voices and sensing energies? How do you explain that you’re visualizing people’s stories as they speak? This awakening also changed how I dealt with my emotions. Previously, I had kept them bottled up, but now I spoke my truth freely and from the heart. I felt renewed, as if the ocean had washed away my old self, leaving a more attuned person behind.

So, I opened up to my wife about everything—the feelings, the experiences since my trip to Top Sail Beach, the spiritual awakening, and the louder inner voice guiding me. I admitted feeling scared yet strangely liberated, more authentically myself than ever before. I explained that the world felt different, that I no longer resonated with things I once loved—my career, sorority, even my musical tastes had changed. I felt disconnected from this reality, and I knew how it all sounded. But it was my truth, and if she was going to be with me for the long haul, she needed to understand the new me, with spirit loud in my ear and a different mindset.

However, the revelation made me feel even more isolated, as if I didn’t belong in any spaces, I once found comfort in.  During that time, I made significant changes. I left the organization I had been involved with for over 15 years, realizing it no longer aligned with my beliefs. I started losing touch with “friends” who were never truly friends to begin with, and going as far as deleting all my social media accounts and clearing my phone contacts.

However, the most profound change came when I decided to sever my relationship with my mother. After 40 years, I came to terms with the fact that she could never be the supportive figure I needed. Maintaining a relationship with her was not just toxic but abusive. I realized how one-sided my interactions with her had always been—I constantly sought validation, love, and attention from her.

I ended the relationship with my mother respectfully, understanding that it was no longer serving my growth. During this time apart, I was able to reflect, grow, and come to terms with my complicated feelings toward her. It took me five years to forgive her, a journey guided by the spirit of a plant, leading me to my most challenging task yet.