After graduate school, my life kicked into full throttle. Everything sped by so rapidly that I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when I lost my connection to spirit. During this whirlwind period, I met the love of my life, and we made the decision to start a family. Simultaneously, I had just been admitted to an Ed.D. program, presenting me with the dilemma of choosing between academic pursuit and family life. Fear gripped me at the thought of starting a family; I dreaded the prospect of repeating the struggles I had endured as a child, and I hesitated to subject my children to similar traumatic experiences that I feared passing down. Initially, I leaned heavily towards advancing my career, but in hindsight, I’m grateful for choosing to start a family, as my daughter became the catalyst for my spiritual reconnection.

When my daughter was born, a dormant part of me was suddenly awakened. While every mother believes their child is special, for me, my daughter was my entire world. Since my brother was our donor, I didn’t carry her, yet upon her arrival, I felt an immediate bond. I sensed deep down that she was sent to me for a purpose, though I only began to grasp that purpose as she grew older.

Two years later, my son entered our lives through adoption from foster care. Coping with the demands of two young children and navigating the complexities of the foster care system strained our marriage. Providing care within the system felt like riding an emotional roller coaster, with constant oversight from case workers and the threat of irresponsible caregivers looming over us.

Meanwhile, I juggled responsibilities, tirelessly working on projects with my Sorority, maintaining a full-time job, and raising a family. As the pressure mounted, I felt something stirring within me, yet I couldn’t identify it. Slowly, I became disconnected, descending into a deep depression. I withdrew from my wife, friends, family, and even my children. I’d return home from work and retreat to bed, yearning to vanish into oblivion. Unable to articulate my despair to my wife, I spiraled deeper into darkness, and our marriage began to suffer even more.

One day, overwhelmed by an inexplicable urge to escape, I impulsively packed a bag, got into my car, and drove aimlessly for hours. Fourteen hours later, I found myself at Topsail Beach in North Carolina. Exhausted, hungry, and disoriented, I was drawn to the water. Fully clothed, I waded in and wept, allowing the ocean to absorb my anguish. When I emerged, the world seemed brighter; I could sense the auras and love emanating from the people around me, reconnecting me to their energy. In that moment of clarity, I heard the voice of Spirit commanding me to “GO HOME.” And so, I returned, determined to mend my marriage.

July of 2018 marked the day of my Spiritual Awakening. It was the day I FULLY connected with Spirit, altering the course of my life forever.